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Does she remember a time, when her feet walked in grace, dancing in tune with the planets and stars? Her body cleansing in time with the moon, not a curse as dogma instills, rather a refinement to honor the miracle of life she carries, nurtures and bears.

Healing waters, fertile soils and plants whispered their gifts to her during this time; Her time for introspection, contemplation, deeper communion with the Great Mother and mystery that sustains. Her body did not know the pains our bodies now know. The planet was pure/honored and Her gifts not exploited, unburdened by toxins and not muzzled by faulty dogmatic programming. She was free to own and employ her endowed emotional intelligence and intuition, knowing plants that called healing to ailing bodies. Not a witch, not harmed for following Her knowing. Later indoctrinations would seek to harness and restrain the potency of this beautifully divine creature…we slowly crawl back to our completeness.

Does she remember the day her body changed forever? The initiations to adulthood begun, the carefree innocence that should be childhood fades. Bodies now entering this state earlier and earlier, as estrogen mimicking toxins fill the earth.

One senses the change in young ladies early on. The day the “forgetting of self” hormone (estrogen sometimes referred to as the “doormat” hormone) begins its mutations. In an environment flooded with xeno-estrogens changes affect not only the course of women’s bodies and lives, but that of mans as well, we will never really know the full extent tampering with such subtle glandular systems bring.

Does she remember a time when her yet to be born child would sing to her? When the child in spirit would tell her of the divine male that would bring this life about? Can she remember a time when only joy preceded such a moment and not the fear that now clouds the future of beings born? What a miracle to be conceived in a state of wanting, joyful anticipation, without a hint of fear, dread or possibly rejection from either parent? Can you imagine the fortitude this embeds the child?

The babe had a voice before conception, the babe initiates cleansing of the mothers body. The purging of toxins inspires a clean vessel for growth (morning sickness). The babe was given consideration, all blessed mid-wives know, the babe picks the day of its birth. A gift now denied to many a babes, cesareans, whether for convenience or necessity deny the babe the birthright of being flooded with the protective flora needed to grow strong and the struggle down the birth canal preparing one for life’s trials. How early on modern convenience robs our fortitude, most have no clue.

Some babes’ harvested, hearts beating, from the womb, for research, body parts – a race called human exculpates with “reason”. Someone somewhere needs such research to “live”…

Does She remember a time, should the babe survive modern hurdles, when simple food was nourishing and life giving. Satisfying the need of growing bodies, not hijacked at the most cellular level by genetic and chemical means, which lead to premature illness and death.

She that buries her babes, whether 2 legged, or other beings nurtured, has faced Her worst fear. She was given no choice but to be fierce and strong.

She has won the fortitude and grace to blossom to maturity those broken by addiction, war and other modern worldly ills. She can take the broken pieces of earths children and grow them into knowing, weaned beings…strange the winged, scaled, four-footed take to this gift more so than the 2 legged.

This is the world we made. This is the soundness She breeds and nurtures. There is nothing left to fear. She is the Great Mother.






Inquiries About Writing

First off, I want to welcome new readers. It’s been a little over a year and a half since I set up the website; it is a place to share experience and original healing. I enjoy your thoughts and comments. Aside from folks wanting to know more about original healing methods, surprising to me, there are quite a few inquiries about tips on writing. So here is a bit how I came about spinning the stories I write about.

Professionally, years ago, I designed and taught the “Horse Course” at Los Angeles Harbor College. I have studied several variations of the Bowen Technique, several forms of Energy Work, herbs, flower essences, essential oils and most dear to my heart, homeopathy. Much of this life experience is shared here.

 I write to purge thoughts/life experience, for myself, this is extremely healing. Some folks find usefulness in my writing, the homeopathic community in particular. You all have been a life saver in more ways than you know! We homeopaths get to study the essence of mineral, plant, animal, pathogens on an energetic level, this leads to something quite wonderful and inexplicable many outside this art will never fully appreciate. The unending study of miasmic influence gives us insight into hidden human tendencies equally buried. You all get this and have encouraged my expression. Deepest thanks.

Timeless storytelling shares experience that resonates. I spend much time in the presence of Nature and creatures, a very un-compensated state compared to most humans. I have odd expressions as ancient, silent communication is difficult to translate into limited human words, let alone the human race pin-hole perception/understanding/interpretation.

I tend to write in convoluted sentence structure. This is deliberate, to slow the reader down, as are odd words, sometimes taken as mistakes. I call these “refractors”, they are very intentional and carefully selected to slow the reader down, perhaps even stop you, break the flow and cause your knowing to grow in directions not considered. These can open the energy field (I consider the mind/energy field the same thing – different from the intellect) to greater wisdom. In this way, words can be used as a homeopathic remedy, causing a disturbance, leading to prudence of thought and action. If one is sensitive enough, you can sense/see the refraction bouncing through the energy field. This is something the creatures taught me. I don’t know how else to explain it.

This concept came from countless healing consults with clients (domestic/wildlife and human) on their homeopathic healing journeys. Before this phase of my life, the idea of “refractors” came from rehabilitating so called “problem horses”, most of which suffered body pain and were in desperate need of working new thought and body movement patterns, shifting away from our pre-programmed, linear thought and robotic/reactive action.

The results are eloquence in perception and movement, for both man and beast, as the thought process and the body are liberated to explore new circular circuitry venues, free of compensation, restoring motion, settling in peaceful mental/emotional capacity.

My private newsletter provides updates to new posts, workshops, etc. You can send contact info to if interested. Thank you for stopping by! Renate



Creating Cancer – Creativity Killed by the Cancer Miasm  

For educational purpose only, consult with your health practitioner.

 Cancer – the word alone for us humans can impart a very terrified and gloomy outlook, but should that word be given such power?

This blog will examine the mental/emotional aspects that feed cancer. This angle of treating cancer is often neglected in conventional treatments (as is proper nutrition/lifestyle), treating the body as if it’s a machine (an aspect of the cancer miasm). Acknowledging this feature is hugely important to set the being free of this created stockade.

Most homeopaths recognize 5 main miasms (taints left over by diseases thought to be cured by modern means), though many more exist. They are Psora (itch – lack of reaction/Mother of all disease), Sycotic (Medorhium – excessive reaction), Syphilitic (Syphilis – destructive reaction), Tubercular (Changeable/restless reaction), all these miasms are thought by some homeopaths to converge into the cancer maism (creativity killed, the life unlived). The excessive and secretive ways of the sycotic miasm coupled the destructive aspects of the syphilitic miasms combine to exploit those who exhibit the servitude facets of the tubercular and cancer miasms. This is a very condensed version of concepts that have extensive ramifications and takes years to wrap ones’ tiny mind around.

Hahnemann became aware of miasms as an obstacle to cure refining his gift of homeopathy. To me, miasms seem a refinement from the Algonquin peoples concept of wetiko, a stain in the thought process, which takes on viral-like qualities, causing a being to forget its place among the “whole”, this lack of consideration manifests in action that mistakes harm for good.


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As a base reference point, get lost in the wonder of the 30 trillion cells in the human body, orchestrating symbiosis, working in harmony, regulating proliferation, in co-operation with cells close by, digestion, immune system, lymph, blood and more keeping the body balanced, informed and functioning – the miracle of life we take for granted every moment, of everyday – till illness pauses our oblivion to the preciousness of life and its innate, orchestrated harmony.

Enter the corrupt signal, it is holographic, spanning generations, certain cells fail to heed the call for symbiosis of the whole, following instead, their own un-fulfilled scheme. They travel the body, escaping controls of tuned immune system. Metastasis, cellular chaos and possibly death ensues as cellular die off suffocates a clogged, stagnant, toxic and unexpressed system.

The seeds planted long ago, generations of over-anxious, over-bearing and over-protective parents/grandparents inflicting upon the child their strict and structured angst, seizing from the child the ability to adapt gracefully with naturally occurring change.

An un-natural conditioning occurs in the child, especially that of suppressing emotions/expression; ignoring feelings, responding in mechanized, detached manner, withdrawing into feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, guilt – a feeling that what the little one is faced with is too daunting to undertake (often found in alcoholic/addictive dynamics), perfection implied as the highest standard, yet it is neither practical, reachable, nor is it sensible in our human foible form. Making peace with our human flaws and learning to love that aspect of self will go far in mitigating damage rather than ego facades, ignoring or denial.

Modern medical prophylactic means exploit this need to show “perfection” on a physical level, suppressive anti-biotics, steroids, vaccines, etc., hush the bodies’ response to internal conflict – don’t show a symptom, not a sniffle, cough, skin eruption, etc. Put on the brave face and pretend nothing is wrong. The problem is the body cannot lie, it goes deeper, stuffed. The implied standard of perfection, eludes, but is strived for just the same, at great expense to mind, body and soul. The body creates lumps, tumors, cancers to cope, it is a survival mechanism.

From the compensated states of withdrawal and an unrealistic image of “perfection”, one observes these beings slipping further and further into a state of “inability to self advocate”. A silent suffering that broods, a throat center so blocked, they often have nothing to say, even when enduring unbearable loads, teeth grinding is not uncommon – wearing away at the bodies stoutest tissue, clamped unable to say shit, even with a mouth full of it.

If this state isn’t/cannot be liberated the survival instinct morphs into the delusion of martyrdom, an illusion society and dogma often erroneously elevate to some sort of holy standard to endure. This state is greatly exploited by many in our self-centered world, creating an individual ripe for silenced abuse.

What we know as the Cancer Miasm in homeopathy is fed on so many levels, it will be a very difficult entity to “cure”, without addressing such subterranean concepts society uplifts. These deeply imbedded miasmic patterns of operation (wetiko) are so hidden, they seem “normal”. They cause harm to be mistaken for good.

This delusion of martyrdom and inability to express kills creativity, the very thing this glorious planet called us into existence for. This concept has huge ramifications as we will see. Cancer is the life unlived.

Homeopathy is the only modality to my knowledge, which studies disease history. It recognizes diseased states as one would know a person, each having personality, traits, ways of movement, and more. In homeopathy we know modern medicine has not healed certain diseases of the past, it merely changed their expression, from the physical manifestation to deeper mental and emotional signatures (this is why the rise in anti-depressant drugs and their suicidal side-effects).

For this reason, homeopaths understand named diseases of old have not been eradicated, and when they resurface (or are re-named), they do so with a vengeance, evading “cures” that were previously thought fool proof, because the miasmic taint was never addressed, lifted, reconciled. It was just told to shut up in a shell of alleviating symptoms at the expense of the mental and emotional well being – this is the definition of suppression by homeopathic standards.

Certain physical traits will also be a tell. When “proving” nosodes (a remedy made of diseased tissue) a picture develops of the disease characteristics, much like a person, themes, traits, expressions and more all part of the picture (patterns of disease expression). Everything discussed in these pages is but a mere wisp to all considered in the dynamic expression of any disease, so faceted and complex are the variations from being to being.

Detailed case taking allows the homeopath to explore the constitutional remedy of a being, and more importantly the driving miasm that the correct remedy, and possibly an intercurrent nosode remedy will resolve, an art many have spent a great deal of time, effort and means to master. It is nano-medicine, we are listening to very detailed individual manifestation/expression. The body is doing an amazing attempt to survive, liberating these “soul stuck states”, allows a being to thrive.

Killed Creativity and the Life Unlived

 I have been blessed with an odd ability to astutely observe wildlife areas in many places surrounding Los Angeles for decades (LA is rich in micro-climates, marshes, canyons, mountains, deserts). These places also have generations of wildlife that have been released after rehabbing, on occasion, visits from these little creatures give great pleasure as well as insights to the health of soil, flora and fauna. Just like our bodies, the environment cannot lie, one reflects the other.

At one time, vast expanses of marshland covered coastal regions of Southern California, from Ballona Creek down past Huntington Beach. These acted like a soothing buffer and filter for our varied landscape, beach, to marsh, to inland valleys, canyons, mountains and finally deserts. Now covered in concrete suburbia, the economy of the land has changed in the decades since I have lived here. Desert-like landscaping, now common in “drought friendly” gardens give the summer heat a convection-like oven feel. Such are the follies of “progress” when we don’t recall/honor the original blueprint.

The area where my horses are kept neighbors a reservoir. At one time, native grasses, herbs and shrubs grew. These provided a great deal of food for migratory creatures as well as the locals. Unknown at the time, it had a wonderful cooling effect when summer temperatures made the canyon sizzle, thanks to this lush growth.

In recent years, cities and public/private entities began to spray large areas with Roundup (glyphosate) so that later when fire season starts, weed abatement is not necessary. This has resulted in vast areas of “dead zones” as year after year, the glyphosate is sprayed, killing natures attempt at creation.

Interesting to note, if only used once, a very distinct growth pattern follows of healing plants that restore the land. Generally one sturdy plant, seen in a monochromatic way, grows in abundance, beginning to heal the land (much like after fires). Also of note – animals do not live on this land while the plants to do their healing, nor do they eat these plants or their seeds.

In years that follow, more plants join the healing process. The plants vary from micro- climate to micro-climate. It is a process only they know. Depending on the strength of the soil, it can take  4  to 6 years for seasonally varied, full foliage to return, as it  does, so does the animal life. Some organic farming practices have variations of this “crop rotation” to clear land sprayed with glyphosate, the crop is destroyed till tests show the land “cleared” of this poison. If the land is continually sprayed dead zones and super weeds emerge.

Glyphosate’s use causes plants to wither and dry, it is a desiccant (it is also used to “dry” certain food crops). In addition, this substance disrupts the soils ability to function as a living organism, killing off its “friendly bacteria” (likewise killing good gut bacteria). Glyphosate disables a beings’ cellular pathways to uptake minerals – soil, plants, animals and humans. Everything up the food chain, from the soil on, will equally be affected by malnutrition. As glyphosate kills good bacteria in the soil and inhibits uptake of needed minerals, it does so in the bodies that consume this poison, compounding damage as up the food chain it goes.

Its prevalent use in food production has been wreaking havoc – particularly livestock, forced to eat this tainted fodder. Many of us spending decades in the animal related industries have noted a flood of health issues, endocrine imbalances, digestive issues, kidney malfunction and much more; this was not seen prior to the introduction of GMO/glyphosate feeds. The dominos are now starting to fall for humans; we are up the food chain and health is failing fast.

The once wild area around the reservoir no longer supports the life it once could. The ground is dry, hard and dead. The atmosphere in the canyon changed, the once cool and damp haven, fed by seasonal watershed, turned extra dry with drought and the deadening effects of glyphosate. The atmosphere burns, it has the same feel as vast areas burned by wildfires, only difference, this one is chemically induced. One no longer sees the amount of wildlife I saw in my youth.

Animals suffer, initially the ground dwellers. Mice, gophers, lizards no longer gestate nor lay eggs normally (when livestock was first fed GMO feeds, attending veterinarians noted reproduction abnormalities), if the babes do make it full term, they lacked the ability to nurse/eat and are abandoned by their mothers.

While many may think it’s great that both weeds and vermin get wiped out, year after year of spraying, the predators up the food chain die off as well. We are up the food chain and suffering the same fate, whether we have the where-with-all to admit it is another matter altogether. Human hubris does not alleviate us from consequence, what we do to the web, we do to ourselves.

These babes are abandoned in places I wander, to see, to record, so hopefully my kind wakes. I write, so such experiences come to light. While many will label such recordings as “negative”, my hope is to inspire a visceral fortitude and stop feeding this wide spread and mistaken for normal cancer miasm. Humans so selectively suppress that which should be made known, especially where creatures are concerned. We have developed our mechanized and justifiable hubris at the expense of future generations and possibly the planet. Its time to recalibrate back into the balanced knowing of creation and destruction of this planet, by recognizing our wetiko/miasmic ways, Nature is always more than willing to show us, if we listen on a level we are not comfortable with.

Glyphosate has been proven highly toxic. It is the partner to genetically modified organisms (GMO’s), food grown under such “created means of laboratory perfection” has repercussions that are unfolding in generations since its inception. The results are a devastating cascade of ill health – kidney failure, cancers, endocrine issues and more. These were first noted by many of us working with animals years ago, now, this created holocaust, affects human health. No need to wonder why the only “business” left in America is block after block of medical buildings and hospitals. For those with eyes open, it makes terrifying yet perfect sense.

This GMO/glyphosate combo is found in commonly eaten foods, wheat, soy, corn, alfalfa, cotton, sugar beets, canola and more. These are main ingredients in most processed foods eaten. High fructose corn syrup (GMO) is in most foods (even pet foods). This GMO’d, highly addictive, cheap energy additive adds an extra spark to feeding cancer. Cancer loves sugar – sugar is one of the most addictive substances on earth and one of the toughest for people to take off the menu, so addicting is its allure. We have no idea the depths to which addiction lurks.

A host of agricultural chemicals and other modern chemical wonders are xeno-estrogens (estrogen mimicking compounds). Coupled with Bovine growth hormone, in dairy that is non-organic, and you have induced, accelerated hormonal chaos – including spurring the growth of cancers. In another blog we will go into more detail on this abused hormone.

While many applaud modern agricultural means as a savior to an ever growing human populace, the truth is this hoaxed miracle is an epic disaster in disguise. School children are being indoctrinated with the wonders of chemical manipulations of the food supply. In countries with massive populations, more ancient ways of farming the land feeds the populace well, without the chemically/genetically induced ills this country is seeing. These countries have done so for eons. The land has not failed us. There is enough for everyone’s needs. Tons of food are plowed under or dumped daily for a host of price manipulative reasons. Selective greed starves our kin.

In his book “Homeopathy for Farm and Garden” Viakunthanath Das Kaviraj describes fruits and vegetables grown by chemical farming means as “obese”. In other words, the fruit/vegetables are large; pleasing to the eye, yet lack vital nutrients found in organically grown produce. He notes how this is reflected in the bodies that consume such lovely, yet lacking in depth fodder. The same can be seen in horses, most owners are not happy unless the animals show a bit of fat. Inflammation would be a more apt description, and it is mistaken for brawn, from an individual level all the way through to politics; this topic to be explored in depth in another blog as well, for now dwell on how our eyes have been conditioned to false fortitude and how this refracts from the micro to the macro.

Bought government safeguards failed to stop skewed research regarding GMO’s/glyphosate and much like cancer cells eluding the immune systems response, the poison willfully slipped into the food supply. Calls for labeling go unheeded, and laws like TTP (and soon to be TTIP), which the people get no vote on, pass giving Monsanto, the parent company of Agent Orange and this monopolized poisoned food free rein to infect the world, while a chemically sauced public argues over which terrifying and inadequate political puppet will take over; quite a world our miasmic/wetiko ways manifest..

The cruelest irony of all – seeing families stricken by cancer spraying glyphosate all over their yards, we just don’t get it. It most certainly has a feel of a holocaust most are more than willing to sign up for, time to wake from this addicted, catatonic dance, in hopes of owning our power with more grace.

 Back to Balance

If one were to list all modern endocrine disruptors and toxins, we would be left in further overwhelm. The same overwhelm that trips the cancer miasm into shut down. For the sake of consideration, we have a toxic food supply, Fukushima is still spewing, Electro Magnetic Fields, Microwave towers (cellphones/wifi – these items cross the blood/brain barrier like our most addictive drugs), tainted water, atmospheric pollutants, toxic medications that do nothing to address deficiencies, work place stress and economic stress, the list goes on and on. Instead of getting bogged down by our material/egotistic needs, let’s conclude by resting in the miracle we started with.

Thirty Trillion of your cells are working in harmony to keep you alive, every second, of everyday – with out fail. While you sleep, while you eat, while you cry, while you laugh, while you heal, while you love, do spend a great deal of time on that last one – things we love – yourself should top the list, not narcissism, rather self-respect that includes limiting poisons ingested (mind and body).

When I had my bout with cancer in 2005, it came on the heels of my brothers’ death. If I could put my finger on one thing that was really troubling me at the time was/is human ability to take for granted and destroy life. Open land, wild creatures, domestic creatures and ourselves.

I once rode many a troubled steed for clients. I quickly deduced the steed was never the problem, the human was. A horse learns instantly when conditions are right, there is no need to weigh/burden their spine with endless drilling. This means no human hubris. I could see I was putting many a steed in harms way by teaching them such lightness, while their humans chose the lazy comfort of embedded, harsh (though they never saw themselves as such) conditioning, preferring to blaming this or that, rather than re-educating/liberating wetiko/miasmic ways.

I also knew this dead and harsh place most people treat themselves and their creatures from, is the root of many beings painful body issues. I had long suspected we should not be doing with horses what we do, nor “living” as we do. A noble beast, years ago sealed this lesson for me. The deeper I got into learning various forms of body and energy work, homeopathy – the brighter this truth shown.

This beast told me on day one his owners would kill him. I along with an extensive team was hired to do all we could to save him. After our first session the trainer raved “he never traveled so well!” Despite my warnings of his tissue healing, the grinding tyrant of ego bore on, in a short while he was killed for insurance money. A conversation followed with the owner I hope to never have to repeat. She put on a darn good show, and that’s all it was.


Communion from this horse still burns in my ears when certain cases take a turn for human hubris. That day freed me to put more weight into insights from the creatures than their humans. Most humans are not in a place where they can hear what needs to be said. We are too wetiko, too miasmic, too unwilling to address the very core issues we should, our own shadows, make peace with them, own them and you mitigate the damage. Deny them and they swallow you whole and all you touch.

I promised his soul, I would never pretend to be doing “good” (in the eyes of human conditioning) while not honoring a beings true plight. Some people love me for this, others shy away. Either way, it opens a pathway for richer and less miasmic/wetiko communication. I thrive for this.

Being true to myself and those I serve (who often don’t have a voice most can hear), is the most healing thing I can do, for me and for all beings in my hologram. This leads to the life one needs to live, releasing you from the life others expect for their own devices. A gift all beings should have a right to, one many humans don’t want.

Wild creatures exude this “trueness”. The raccoons, my Piskies endowed this to me. Wild creatures that are releasable have an unparalleled vital force and fire. There is a point where they need to go back to the wild. No hard feelings, it’s just the life they need to live. The role of intercessor complete, their calling beckons, and they have no angst heeding it. They are such wonder to bask in, so complete, so knowing, so free of chicken shit fear humans compensate from.

Those non-releasable retain a child-like dependence. Their fire is not quite as complete. With the increasing toxin load and urbanization, their vital force is not what it use to be. They are weaker, the glyphosate run-off and wind blown GMO have left their mark. Nothing is what it was. The invisible, civilized cage of life unlived permeates, wetiko manifested.

Most all the re-habbed wild creatures that have been non-releasable die of some sort of cancer, despite clean, organic diets and imitating wild tendencies. Can anything be more exemplifying of the life unlived – no matter how enticing it’s packaged?

This is why I told the Piskies the best I could offer them was a piss poor imitation of a life they decided they had not the fortitude for, that fateful day when Shreky climbed my old dog Murphy and I – something they were never allowed to do. I raised them to be “wild”, not pets. The attempt at release, on the  4th day – I checked in on them, they clearly told me how compromised their thwarted start was and we were to partner. I am still awestruck with the education they left me to unravel.

Wild creatures, when given a choice will always choose non-GMO feed. I try to get the cleanest, organic food sources possible and am lucky enough to grow a good deal of my own food and healing herbs. I am sure this gave these two precious babies more life than they would have had without. Something to heed, so many youngsters (creature and human) are fed modified foods at great consequence. One sees younger and younger beings suffering diseases once belonging to aged beings and most don’t put the pieces of the puzzle together, it certainly does have the feel of a holocaust many are so addicted to and afraid to wake from.

Diet is key to health. Modern foods are loaded with addictive chemicals (including potent, genetically modified sweeteners/neurotoxins) many people have not the ability to walk away from. These foods may seem necessary to humans competing in a mechanized world. Stop fooling yourself. We are flesh and blood, spirit and soul; we need a deeper nourishing this planet provides.

Many diets exist that have very positive effects on cancers, Macrobiotic, Gerson, Metabolic Typing diet to name a few. Old turn of the century homeopathic doctors (whose wisdom passed down in old books I adore) noted increases of cancers with industrialization, stress, vaccines, meat consumption and other factors. In these stressed economic times and population increases, these factors come into play more than ever. The more plant based the diet, the less stress on already sedate and stressed organs that modern life tender. Animals raised for consumption live horrific, confined, pumped with hormones, vaccines and meds to make it slaughter weight lives, does one really need to consume such misery? At such consequence?

I think it prudent to take into consideration a persons constitutional remedy, its food likes and aversions to best suit the individual. There is no one size fits all diet. We are too diverse and some people cause grave harm to their bodies with fanaticized diets. We do this to our animal friends as well. Well intentioned perhaps, short sighted of a beings evolutionary means, often.

The Magical knowing of children cut early on, generational disconnects. So young, so labeled and doped. The addiction has been given a medical green light and start. Addict them early to prescribed meds with chemical signatures similar to the most narcotic street drugs, to hate, their own bodies, their own brothers and sisters. Divide and condition to institutionalized droned perfection.

These babes yearn to re-wild. To play in the dirt, to eat wild edible herbs, to photosynthesize with the sun, to touch sacred stones, to hear the hawk cry, to feel a horse’s velvety nose, to move their bodies, no matter how old they are. Reconnecting with the land that sustains us is more healing than we know, as is basking in the glow of the sun and the vitamin D it imparts ( so crucial to immune function); time to root fully in the beauty of this sustaining universe.

The hate of self, the disconnect, becomes stuffed, cancerous, the part deemed “not good enough”, the part left unexpressed, unlived. Hahnemann knew the more these growths are cut, without addressing deeper miasmic tendencies that fuels the growths, the more turbulent the growths reaction to the silencing. Those stricken with cancer often cave into doctors ultimatums and fears of family members (unable to self advocate). Disregarding their own inner knowing to live their life unlived.

So many try “alternatives” after the vital force has been drained by harsh surgeries, caustic medications (that destroy the alimentary canal – the very ability to feed oneself), radiation etc.; coming to original healing methods in a last ditch effort to heal. Not realizing the layers of compensating violation and lassitude that now need lifting – if there is still vital force left to heal. Too many times, there is not, heartbreaking to witness.

For myself, I chose not to go to doctors, I wanted no drama of testing or the dynamics humans spin around such “illness”. I found my strength in creatures that came to me for healing and experienced recovery, without the caustic ways conventional means deem necessary. For creatures that did pass, it came later, with greater quality of life. Either way, this choice I wanted for myself. This was not denial; it was a very reflective period of holographic cases, self tendencies and whole lot more. It was a coming into myself that my raccoons, my Piskies, gave me the where with all to claim full force. Our weaknesses owned and liberated gave us more life than we could have alone. Lena always reminded me of this.

Certain specifics will not be listed. People make selective lists and miss the most important thing I wish you take from this. Specifics, diets, herbs are an outward support to a very deep, personal and evoking journey. Homeopathy does something amazing to liberate that freedom, homeostasis within. Every aspect of disease listed in any of my writings is just a wisp to all experience and not recorded. The archives are vast, filled with aches and triumphs too deep to divulge.

In animals that have “cured” their cancers, the relative ease they journey this process with has always left me in awe. They don’t mourn the patterns of illness that got them to the state the way a human will. They seem elated to be free of the set ethereal stockade. A human mourns this part; it seems easier for humans to face a physical death than to have an ideal die, such is the weight of our ego, hubris, megalomania. I wanted for myself what the creatures have given me so freely, so often.

I don’t mean for it to sound like I am picking on humans (though many will take it so), but our very megalomania keeps us in our addicted, wetiko, miasmic ways. We hear the term so often “we are better than that” and no doubt, we can be, yet in healing we need to be met where we are, not where we think we are (that is delusion, a very addictive and destructive thought pattern – so prevalent and condoned in our times), nor where we want to be – for that we don’t yet have the skills. We can exceed our limits only when we own them, our shadows, our glories, free from the encumbrance of ancestral, familial, and societies planned or prophesized expectations.  This is not hubris, it’s owning both ends of the spectrum well and with grace, it’s empowering, it is homeostasis.

The past few years have offered a host of personal great die offs, decades old partnerships of certain clients that have passed, aging family members whose careers end and all that entire dynamic brings with it and many dear lifelong animal friends also transitioned back to spirit. This past May, I had quite a healing crisis, given the gravity of the past 4 years, I was surprised it took so long. After this “illness”, I find myself operating wholly differently. Many things have been taken off my list of what can and cannot be consumed – food, business, obligations and more. I have been liberated to do what needs to be done in this phase of my life.

Some ring out with their “why don’t you get a flu shot”? They miss the whole point, such clearings, especially after heavy grief (affecting lungs) needs to be purged, to clean out old dross and breathe a being into new life patterns. Ancients knew this about childhood diseases, we have forgotten. This gift is given, as the body deems necessary, like the wild seeds that come to heal the land and us – only the body knows. Honor it, these are the purgings that clear so much of the stuffed, clogged and toxic ways we think “normal”, it blossoms the immune system to do its part in keeping you alive and thrived.

This past Feb. 3 my raccoon Shreky passed, the same day my mom passed some 30 + years prior. He survived nearly 2 years after Lena’s passing. These were my babes. My joy, the Piskie Chateau was my fun zone to balance a life work that is getting pretty ludicrous given the “killing of creation” times we are in.

Homeopathy spares one so much medical grief; from our first day together, all the fun in between and finally, at end of their lives, it gave gentle release to their souls. Not euthanasia, just an ease of transition to lives very skillfully, enjoyably and zealously played. I was doula at both ends of their lives – my God what a weighty gift my little bears left me with.

Their Chateau, the garden, our haven still lingers with their feisty, joyful essence. Despite my best efforts to converge our “civilized” and “wild” ways, cancer claimed them both. The life unlived, what was denied? Full term with their real mother? Something not yet known? Or was this the best that could be? We each have are own answer, each is right and each is wrong, such are our human limitations. In the hologram of life, perfection found its moment, trust life; my little bears always knew this.

We don’t need to change the world; even compromised, the Piskies had quite an education to impart. Change wetiko to work with ourselves, not fight ourselves. We don’t need to fight cancer, that’s just a lucrative show. Our bodies are doing an incredible job to keep us going despite incredible odds. Most enduring this disease have given too much of themselves, the last thing they need is to suffer a feeling of falling short to a fight that seems larger than life, because it can be.

Does it kill? Absolutely, as do we – killed creation, that unlived. We are bombarded every day with tragic consequence of all the miasms converging. The kill lines that can’t stop, in slaughter houses, wars, shootings labeled whatever fits the medias propaganda, animal shelters and despite the mass killed creation, still more life comes. No one ever seems to ruminate this (so blind we are) – and our solution is ironically, more killing. Ancients once spoke of rivers teeming with life, skies filled with birds, plains filled with large beasts; there is enough for everyone’s need, just not everyone’s greed. Quite a circle we have made, quite the experiment we are living.

I have changed and streamlined the amount and types of cases I take on anymore. There is great power in just saying “no”. Some only want you in their lives to feed their imbalances, some for whatever reasons, fear deeper healing and the inner soul journey that requires, either way, I am freed to work with those who give autonomy to all my knowing.

I spend copious amounts of time in nature and with creatures, to better hear the whispers of Her healing minerals, plants, creatures and the symbiosis of it. This is the education that keeps me going, human hubris and their calls for culling leave me desolate, I can’t feed that beast anymore, not with the die offs I have seen of late. The land can regenerate and do amazing things, when the right care givers have stewardship. WE don’t OWN land, it should own us.

Those embracing these back to root basics see a wonderful unfolding of Mother Earth gifts. These are shared with neighbors, communities, bartering a way back to economic viability, from land, to self, all the way up to local communities. This is what awakened souls that own both ends of the spectrum can, will and are doing. It is something ancients knew all along, many have been waiting for. This has the ability to restore all the beaurocratic malarkey we are bombarded and yoked with. A dying of corporate owned tyrants that choke humanity with their slick packaged poisons. Disconnect, denial and silence will never mend this ailing cancer miasm, only a deep love and respect of life, self, our planet and the holographic universe that connects us all. Own it and thrive it!


Related reading – Listen to the Skin, Vaccinosis/Cancer Connection

RIP Harambe

Our disconnect from each other, let alone Nature, echoed loud and clear once again.


Cincinnati Zoo officials shot a silver back gorilla dead after a small child fell into the creatures enclosure. Social media buzzed with opinions. Consequence bleeds via our disconnected, contriving ways.


Parents, let alone their children, no longer know respect for the wild. Mesmerized and addicted to cell phones, hardly anyone looks  up at the world around them anymore. Canned reality is all new generations know.


Who is wrong, who is right – what does it matter when a humans only answer to our fears and consequence is death and more killing?


Social media is powerful tool, as are documentaries that expose our exploitation of wild beings, such as “Blackfish”. Whatever your opinion, an awakening is happening. Such awakenings evoke great fear in most as they expose our exploitative, complacent and chemically numbed out ways, especially if livelihood depends on the “use” of animals.


A while back a video was making the rounds on social media – a cat walking on its front legs, seasoned “animal lovers” of all kinds posting remarks – the most remarkable thing was not one noticed this creature had both back legs broken, as a result it was walking on its front paws. When this was pointed out – the funny comments stopped. The sad point of the exchange was many of these folks are considered “experts” in the eyes of the animal world – as humans know it now.


So, this beckons the questions – if most “professionals” eyes are so tainted by modern methods, who indeed is qualified to mindfully care for life? Is it going to far to ask for all beings to be treated as “sentient”?


This will only strike fear in the heart, if exploitation is at the core of creature relationships. Humans are so adept at lying to themselves – the answer to this question is a crap shoot, and as long as making a living or stroking the ego is involved – the answer will never be in the animals true favor.


But lets just say for the sake of broadening the human pinhole perspective such liberation of the human mental cast system is possible and free our selves (if only for a second) from that long held, imposed dogma, that without much suffering we witness (especially in animal husbandry) such “progress” we enjoy in this modern world would not be possible. What if this is all a lie we tell ourselves as truth to maintain a system that needs to die and compost?


In re-reading some books written in the late 1800’s, there were many incredible ways of healing, energy and complete ideals that could have served humanity and Natural world with much more grace. They were not implemented, or right out destroyed, so exploitation of the massed could continue. As with most human addictions (what I consider such actions/behaviors) the cost is always too high and not worth it.


What if in letting all our pre-programmed bs fade away, a whole new reality emerges? One more connected and respectful of the beautiful planet that still sustains us – despite our squandering human ways?


What if in letting go of our need to control, exploit and contrive, we find the home we never should have left? It might be that we would all  have our own “cavalia” and no need for “shows of caring” anymore. I wish more people entertained this thought – rather than fear of losing the phony reality most hold as gospel, thinking its the best that can be done.


I think Koko the gorilla says it best in the video…if she knows – as does much of the rest of the wild world – when will we?



That part of us caged and contrived.

That part of us, compensated – that forgot how to be really free and wild, denying this luxury to all we touch.

That part of us we were taught to fear and never fully own. Till its expression comes out all wrong – backfired, tainted, foul and cancerous.

The excessive ego, screaming for recognition in the unsung crush of billions of humanity.

That compensated part, that seeks justification in excess on the backs of innocents.

We bid these beings the gift of helping us find that infantile and contriving part. Freedom only found when we are willing to sever our unweaned and contriving ways.

To free the backs of those we choke with bridled and saddles ways.

To stand and move from a centered place, of self carriage and on our own two feet.

One where contriving opposable thumbs, harsh hands and fists have no place.

A new balance found, one Ancient in its ways.

A healing grace freed land and beings embrace.

The manipulations of confinement, coercion with food, retaliation have no place.

Life After Deep Grief

Reverse Piskie hugs

Reverse Piskie hugs

Sitting in the deepest grief. Something humans are not good at.

I am no stranger to grief. It is a life event where “positive” is hard to find.

For me, its the deepest void, the most desolate, deserted feeling, even in a bustling city brimming with humanity.

This un-comfortable-ness should be felt, it honors all that encompasses the life passed.

How does one even begin to describe such “love”? A love some consider “verimin”?

How does one put into words the precious gift each element, plant and being brings to this glorious planet? Volumes lost with each passing – or is it?

I’d like to believe nothing is lost to those that feel deeply, fully, free from fear. Negative, maybe, toxic, never.

Just owning both ends of the spectrum and everything in-between. Just as the Piskies taught me.

I would never want to take a wild being and turn them into the caged creature we humans have become. A scared and addicted pansy, unable to sit in any feeling society programmed “uncomfortable”.

A weaken world humans have made and sometimes, some beings ally and we are forever changed.

Through sitting in grief – human family, creature family, planet family and with the glorious freedom of soul Homeopathy provides, profound breakthroughs find you on the other side of sinking in deep grief and despair.

Glorious dawnings emerge from such dank soul journeys. New life, new being, new experience is born emerges and merges.

The beautiful holograph of life and all its swirling, spiraling layers and patterns meld to amalgamated soul knowing.

The Soul is lifted and ready to live boldly – like Piskies always know.

How blessed I was to have this dance Dear Piskies, forever in my soul, in the Book of Life, it has no end…


This is how we Live beyond grief, a bit more fully than we did before.

Isles of Utopia

Beginnings of the Labyrinth

Beginnings of the Labyrinth

Isles of Utopia,

Scattered here and there.


Bring a space of healing peace,

To soothe chaos humans’ bring.


Little pods where each voice is heard,

And has a chance to act on the prayer,

Deep in each beings’ heart.

For Volition and Life lived well.


Isles of Utopia ring through the Collective Conscious,

Bringing a fierce and wild Love back to a tattered and addicted world, no longer fearful of owning its full birthright.

Thank you Raccoon Gods.





Listen to the Skin – Vaccinosis/Cancer Connection

Ulcers healing

Ulcers healing

The following is for educational purpose; consult with your health professional.


I too once believed that modern medical means kept us free from disease, but then I saw my beloved pets falling apart, infections/cancer at injection sites, latent paralysis, cancer, blindness, deafness, dental issues, seizures, allergies and more; of course it’s never the vaccine, yet these issues were non-existent prior, nor are as apparent in unvaccinated beings.

With the guidance of holistic vets, often going against the preaching of conventional medical means and stopping vaccines when chronic skin, digestive and deeper health issues occurred, I saw my creatures recover, with deeply cleansing and nutritive foods,  homeopathy, body/energy work; I saw a bloom and resurgence of life force conventional means never came close to.

I studied many forms of original healing. I found a key I had been grasping for all along. Nature provided, as always. Homeopathy seems the most effective in releasing the patterns of “disease” and derangement of life force the vaccines so sneakily induce. It gently and effectively unwinds insults to the soul, from the hara line outward to the physical, detoxing clogged pathways, recalibrating the body and soul to vitality.

Many years and many beings later, an unassuming horse I named “Belle” came along. The amplified incorporation of knowing this matriarch is unfolding in me is a learning curve no college can rival; only the university of life can offer such soul amalgamating experience. She leaves me in humble awe.

Belle came on the heels of my magnificent mare Penny’s transition back to Spirit. I was spent. Pinky my lovely paint gelding was grieving and alone. A month after her passing I put word out for a companion.

Having the skills one acquired, there is no end to the hard luck cases one can find. A friend knew of a foundered mare that was in need of a home…I honestly felt too exhausted to take on such a case. At her urging I went to visit said mare, one look in her eyes and body and the deal was done.


In another blog I will tackle all that this horse had going on hoof/spine-wise. That is a story and learning curve all in and of itself. Such chronic damage to the foundation a large creature like a horse needs to stand and propel from is a cardinal basis of knowing for any serious horse lover. We will jump ahead to another part of her healing, as I believe if certain signs were heeded, instead of the suppressive measures conventional means seek to quell, she may have never foundered. Listen to the skin

The timeless wisdom of Samuel Hahnemann as written in the “Organon of Medicine” 6th edition – over 200 years ago…

Aphorism 212

The Creator of therapeutic agents has also had particular regard to this main feature of all diseases, the altered state of the disposition and mind, for there is no powerful medicinal substance in the world which does not very notably alter the state of the disposition and mind in the healthy individual who tests it, and every medicine does so in a different manner.

 Aphorism 205 Sixth Edition

The homoeopathic physician never treats one of these primary symptoms of chronic miasms, nor yet one of their secondary affections that result from their further development, by local remedies (neither by those external agents that act dynamically, nor yet by those that act mechanically), but he cures, in cases where the one or the other appears, only the great miasm on which they depend, whereupon its primary, as also its secondary symptoms disappear spontaneously; but as this was not the mode pursued by the old-school practitioners who preceded him in the treatment of the case, the homoeopathic physician generally, alas!, finds that the primary symptoms have already been destroyed by them by means of external remedies, and that he has now to do more with the secondary ones, i.e., the affections resulting from the breaking forth and development of these inherent miasms, but especially with the chronic disease evolved from internal psora, the internal treatment of which, as far as a single physician can elucidate it by many years of reflection, observation and experience, I have endeavored to point out in my work on Chronic Diseases, to which I must refer the reader.

I cannot therefore advise, for instance, the local extirpation of the so-called cancer of the lips and face (the product of highly developed psora, not infrequently in conjunction with syphilis) by means of the arsenical remedy of Frere Cosme, not only because it is excessively painful and often fails, but more for this reason, because, if this dynamic remedy should indeed succeed in freeing the affected part of the body from the malignant ulcer locally, the basic malady is thereby not diminished in the slightest, the preserving vital force is therefore necessitated to transfer the field of operation of the great internal malady to some more important part (as it does in every case of metastasis), and the consequence is blindness, deafness, insanity, suffocative asthma, dropsy, apoplexy, etc. But this ambiguous local liberation of the part from the malignant ulcer by the topical arsenical remedy only succeeds, after all, in those cases where the ulcer has not yet attained any great size, and when the vital force is still very energetic; but it is just in such a state of things that the complete internal cure of the whole original disease is also still practicable.

The result is the same without previous cure of the inner miasm when cancer of the face or breast is removed by the knife alone and when encysted tumors are enucleated; something worse ensues, or at any rate death is hastened. This has been the case times without number, but the old school still goes blindly on in the same way in every new case, with the same disastrous results.


Psora, suppressed skin eruptions, Hahnemann considered the mother of all disease. Listen to the skin. From Psora other miasms branch out, and many homeopaths believe these re-converge to the Cancer Miasm, a modern induced epidemic.

Hahnemanns’ timeless wisdom is echoed in the writings of homeopathic physicians of the early 1900’s that knew how to heal without cutting. They found increase of cancer rates with the rise of stress, vaccination, increased meat consumption among other factors. Considering the toxin load most bodies now need to function with, it is quite amazing life survives, yet the body adapts.

Belle had chronic weeping sores on her nose from the start – as well as clear to purulent drainage from her eyes, her belly and thighs exuded dermatitis and small, pea-sized nodules under her tail could be palpated. Early on, she was started on a cleanse. She was toxic from heavy pain control medication for the founder, her muddled eyes indicated, coupled with her water-logged, systemic cellular inflammation. This same water-logged, toxin load can be observed in foundered horses, the hoof tissue being soft and spongy – to me, a clear sign of vaccinosis. Many holistic vets see a clear connection between vaccines and founder. When vaccines cease, complete recovery is possible. Everything is a clue.

For 3 months she had a very distinct odor to her sweat, urine and excrement as the toxins were flushing from her system. Her stall reeked of the same smell. Then this changed, to a lesser degree as time passed – but still noticeable. So heavy was her toxin load.


I hesitate to list the homeopathic remedies used (only a few will be mentioned), there is much delusive information passed along in many discussions, this truly creates a dis-service to the art of homeopathy. There is no substitute for good case-taking and knowing remedies like an old friend. Well meaning but misinformed folks dilute the gift that homeopathy brings to the world. I will not add to the degradation of our art here. If there is means for shiny new things and vice, there is means to heal.

The first remedy was chosen to address her detached and disconnected (almost an out of body experience) state of mind, sadness and desire for solitude also fell into the sphere of action this remedy covers. Address the mentals, the body follows.

Belle’s feet were a major concern. Once the too tight shoes were removed, special boots helped her feet land true. Correct movement in her feet was possible, her body had grown into gross compensation, if the feet moved true, her body would follow. She no doubt had been in great pain for a very long time. She moved quite well and willingly at the walk, despite standing with and odd twist (this will be discussed in greater detail when I finish the blog about her hooves). She tolerated company, but preferred to be alone and work things out on her own (well meaning but curbed professionals put her in this state). I have long admired the inner wisdom of nature, I feel completely at ease following it. I gave her full grace to teach me.

She seemed to have a great repertoire of trained and conditioned knowing. It was apparent in her disconnect that this felt more a duty than a joy to perform. This was key in remedy selection. She seemed to have embodied a long road of skewed good intentions endured. The remedy also considers “railway spine”. Considering the trauma endured by horses’ spines (not a welcomed knowing among horsefolk, but hey if you are up there, you contribute to the issues presented, own it).  Deep pelvic bruising and the repeated concussion sustained by her tiny contracted feet also fall within the scope of this remedy; it seemed perfect to open the case.

With the first dose, warts appeared on her nose after a few days. The remedy was pushing her “dis-ease” outward. After the warts erupted, she was able to lie down and roll completely over. She could also “wiggle” her pelvis while rolling now. Prior, she could only roll one sided, get up and stiffly roll on the other side. Let the unwinding begin!

It was apparent this mare had crafted a very careful façade to please humanity, while harboring a deep feeling of frailty that her body had. The remedy that embodies this feeling was given next and a short 3 weeks later the warts completely dried and fell off. The dermatitis on the belly and thighs lessened, the nodules under her tail disappeared. Her vital force was regaining itself. She finally came to “hang out and talk” with us. I had to smile to myself, she seemed to smile back.

I gave this remedy a good 2 months to unweave its magic. Her feet were striding more and more towards a normal hoof shape. Her body too, slowly coming into balance. When she first arrived, the slightest pressure over her the right side of her sacrum would cause her leg to buckle and almost fall, so intense was the pain. She no longer showed this reaction, but lameness and frailty continued to plague the right hind leg. Her foundered and grossly mis-shaped front feet would take at least one year to grow out the founder rings, her hooves will be trying to find a new normal once the basic hoof capsule renews. We were in for the long haul.

In body/energy work sessions one will often get very descriptive feelings, images, sensations of falls, injury, trauma that leads to such mobility issues. This mare never gave such details. It was as if something was robbed at a very early stage that none could put their finger on. This was echoed in the sketchy information those who knew this mare could provide. I suspected vaccinosis, the smells of her detox, signs of her fixed mental state mirroring in her body, kept pointing me in that direction. I did give an inter-current dose of Malandrinum. The nosode made from “grease” in horses, connection to suppressed skin disease and known for its ability to release damage sustained via vaccines. I find this remedy invaluable in such cases.

Somewhere in this time frame, I presented a game to her. I had been working with her loose in the ring. Just walking side by side, asking for turns on the forehand, turns on the haunches, backing, just a few steps, then nothing for a few days. She knew I would not push, and each baby step led to greater freedom in her body. She knew I was asking for mindful movement, there would be benefit to her body and mind. She became eager to learn more, her pre-preprogrammed, staccato cadence gave way smooth, graceful footfalls as her body was finally able to move as nature designed a horse to move.

This part is key in such work, abandon all the bs you have been programmed with and let the horse teach you. Only the horse knows what it endured, and how its body compensated for gloating egos. The horse does not need us to fix anything – our limited good intentions bring horses to such broken places. Remember that. No matter what ego or know it all barn folk bark about.

With her loose in the ring; I placed a board in the center of the arena. By now we could walk side by side, execute turns (fore or hind) and back, on the mimicking of simple body movements alone. No head gear, whips nor was any other prop needed, movement was synchronized.

At first when I walked over the board, she evaded and walked around it. I kept walking, she would rejoin on the other side. Now, for all those reading this, thinking I let her get away with something, quell your knowing and read on, less you lose the most vital part of the lesson…

I did this a few more times, I did not look her in the eye, I knew she was searching mine, for a scolding, reaction, a “correction”. None came I just kept walking, a bit slower, more focused, deliberate –  yet conscious to keep my shoulders unlocked, my gaze soft and my breathing steady ( I was true down to my core), she followed over the pole. That was enough for that day, happy hugs and play was all that ensured after that.

After letting her soak on our previous walk for a few days, we tried again. This time as we walked over the pole I slowed down further and stopped when we each had one leg over the pole and then backed over it. She complied mirroring movement.

Had I pushed my agenda from the start about simply walking over the pole, I would not have progressed as quickly or as effortlessly. I am an excellent slacker, I am not getting any younger and a creature that big can move itself. Properly set up, life can be this easy but we will never find that magic with pain and contriving humans excel at imposing.

On that day, we only worked on getting the front feet one step over and one step back, both left and right side, and then we were done for that day. Another horse would get this in seconds – her body was not there; whatever she learned prior in pain, needed to find new neurological pathways for an anchored foundation. This felt mutually beneficial.

The ease and brevity of the game caused her to give me a bit of a surprised look, I let her be. While she was starting to hang out with me more and more, she needed her alone time, to let the days events soak and settle, and so did I.

Several days later we again attempted to walk over the pole, each foot individually. The front feet did fine, the time seemed right to step back over it with back legs. This was very hard for her. I put no pressure on her; I also told her if it isn’t possible today, there will be other days.

My request frustrated her and she ran off. I didn’t become upset with her; I simply stayed by the pole on the ground, my feelings neutral. For all the crippling work done to her foundered front feet – not one equine professional noted the extreme lameness this lass had going on in her right hind leg. She was working through something big here, most experience horse folk that believe in pushing such a horse do not have the eyes to see what really goes on when “resistance” presents itself, this arrogance rooted in false knowing cripples and kills many beings, when the blog about her feet is completed – there will be much to discuss about this subject.

She walked back to the spot, on her own volition and we tried again. Again in frustration she ran off. I was about to walk to away but she came back again (the lady has heart!). Ever so carefully and woefully, she placed the left hind over, then the right. I beamed for her and hugged her. Yet, in her eye, I saw something grave had been unearthed. She lowered her head in the deepest release I have yet witnessed in being, and her eyes flowed with bloody tears. I sat in the center of the ring and cried with her. I apologized that humans make things so difficult. A wave of strange awestruck defiance flooded us…the ability of humans to make something so easy, so difficult – with such body marring results and call it triumph. This wave of feeling seemed to slam back and forth between us for a while, her in her crying wonder, me in seeing how we treat life too many times…I don’t know how long we were like that, but the crashing waves subsided and a calm pool of ripples emerged. She walked over, head hung low and we just stayed like that in quiet peace. It felt right to soak in this pool of wisdom we found together.


The above mentioned exercise was a basis for all horses I rehabbed back in the day. It provides a solid foundation to trailering, ground exercises and more, as each foot can be “spoken” too and it also gives invaluable insights to body weakness the horse can tell us about.


In the wake of such a profound release, considering the remedies given and work on the ground, the weeping sores on her nose vanished completely; the drainage from her eyes diminished, the dermatitis on the belly and thighs – gone. Malandrinum was given about a month ago, the time felt ripe to repeat the remedy given before. I upped the potency of this remedy that addresses the frailty of legs and the easing of her carefully crafted, brave façade, what followed just blew my mind.

In less than a week of repeating this remedy, large open weeping sores appeared in the corner of her eyes. The left being the largest and worse, the right to a lesser degree, but still weeping bloody tears; her body was releasing a flood of pent up toxins, emotions and insults. While the sight would shock most – those trained in holistic means would have taken a step back – to better see the whole picture. As soon as these sore erupted, her entire mycological structure changed and lameness was almost non-existent. Despite the weeping sores, a whole new look emanated from her eyes, she carried her body different, her movement flowed as never before. I was awestruck, she just seemed elated to retrieve something none us were quite sure could be recovered.


I cannot stress enough, when such eruptions occur, they are a ventnot an “infection” or whatever name given to be pushed deeper back into the body. The body is releasing what ails it, it is not something to push back and quelled with symptom covering means – many people will abuse holistic measures as a swap for medications. This results in the same suppressive measure, the insult will push deeper into the body and morph to a more severe expression. Less is best, know how to read the signs the body so graciously gives, then listen and act with prudence, not fear.

Had the sores been tested, I am sure the result would have come back malignant. What I saw before me reminded me so much of own journey with cancer in 2005. I only told 3 people what was going on at the time, mostly to conserve/preserve my energy. People mean well, but their scared looks and talk do not help much at such junctures in life. I never went to the doctors. I had worked with enough creatures and admired the way they tackle such imbalance. I did not name my imbalance; I believe we give cancer too much power that way. I just did what the creatures and nature showed me and here I am. One day I will detail this journey deeper, it was serious, lumps in my lymphatic system and breasts, I, like many, have cured our grave imbalances with the grace of nature. I never felt comfortable with the drama of testing, the fear people go through, the timelines doctors tell people of what is possible or not – that is between me and my Maker, not a two-legged to decide. Creatures heal easier, because they do not dwell in mental masturbation, they just know, given the proper space. We can do the same, we have been dis-emboweled of our deepest knowing, we are also very fearful of owning that gracious full knowing.

Malignancy leaves the body in several ways, lumps are re-absorbed, they are flushed from the body, via abcess or flooded with oozing serum and drop off (I have seen this with several creatures), in some cases certain herbs and seed substance have the ability to target only malignant cells, leaving healthy cells intact. I don’t believe science can improve upon what nature knows, only manipulate for financial gain. That says enough for me. The immune system cures cancer, not the healer, the doctor or whatever. Some folks have definite knowledge that assists others in such inner journeys, but like good horse relations, it is self work no one can do for you. The popularity of conventional means prey greatly on fears and folks giving power over to others. We create a seat for every need, consequence spins from there.

When these sores opened, every other aspect of her body improved. I added Essiac tea blend to support her liver and immune system. If cancerous lesions/lumps are removed surgically, it is important to know these are the least aggressive cancer cells. The most aggressive cells travel the blood steam, your body knows what is brewing (the beauty of a vital force). This is why cutting cancers pushes the “disease” deeper; cultivating, deep seated, chronic issues down the line. Old homeopathic docs knew this.

Herbalists have long lists of alterative herbs, those that cleanse the blood; they are generally combined with herbs that cleanse the liver, a master organ filtering the blood. Using such time tested combos clears detoxification pathways (on a very deep cellular level) and resets the immune system – often too clogged with toxins (of which vaccines are loaded with).

I could see in Belle a complete recalibration of her endocrine system at this point. I also added Pomegranates to her diet, which she eagerly ate. They were seasonal, and have many of those rich pigments and compounds in the seeds that help eradicate cancerous cells. This took a while, but the ulcers diminished, her coat color and body movement bloomed, she was moving like never before, she beamed. Her skin cleared completely, the nodules under her tail, gone.

An aspect to healing I feel very important to address is the barn space was cleared of anyone that could not hold the “space of gracious neutrality” for her healing. I am so blessed to have the little canyon all to myself where my barn is. I have been there for decades, many horses since my first. In large stables, one has convenience of the horse being fed, cleaned, exercised and such. This is a common trade off of the busy life most crafted and it works well for many. It can rob the sacredness of a place though, too many opinions, too many ego needs the horse is expected to fill, the sheer numbers and confined space leave a void that small, private barns, hands on of daily chores and knowing of each creature and care taker have the luxury of soaking in.

A deeper connection reveals itself, when one is in complete charge of a horse and its environment. Very subtle nuances of feed preferences, piles of manure each creature produces, nap times, play times and more become the way life breathes when one is more in step with any being. The dance deepens. Some people have very toxic influences that block cure, though such folks never see it in themselves, not matter how subtle or overt the hints.

This is the one thing Equine Guided Healing brings to any case I will take on – all the cards on the table and all issues need acknowledgement for cure to follow. The horse always knows, the horse industry is wrought with misinformation at the horses expense, even if means killing the horse for insurance gain (I have seen too much). Once the hubris and malarkey is cleared, the horse can and will hold the space for all involved to clean and clear to a more refined space, provided the humans are truly willing. That is the grace the power of the horse brings, please folks, honor it fully.


About a month after the last remedy, Causticum was given. This mare suffered the loss of a favorite young man of hers before I took her on. She always had an air of over-concern for loved ones, despite her aloof façade. This remedy covered the mentals of her grief, over concern for loved ones – more exhibited, remaining eye issues and the tell tale signs of persistent nerve weakness in the right hind and shaky feltlocks. I believe we hit her constitutional layer with this remedy. Her movement evolved as never before, her spine slinked, snake-like, her eyes cleared completely.

I would like to back up a bit here, when the blog on her feet/spine is done, this topic will go into greater detail, but for those homeopaths and others in the healing arts, I believe this is an important point to understand.

When a horse has a low slung heel and the other hoof has a high heal, I believe beyond the shadow of a doubt, such horses have a transversal rotation of the spine. It has been my experience that unless the layers in her case were addressed in the order they were, the healing would not have come along as quickly, or as completely. It would be as a layer was skipped and thus even well chosen remedies would not act as deeply as they could; also, if it were merely swapping out a remedy known for so and so without deeper understanding of mental/emotional states, the completion of healing will be nil to non-existent. Chronic shock layers need clearing, then the well chosen remedy will work to highest potential.


There was a day this winter where the ponies danced with such glee. Belle did such a dance of joy of her feet kissed the earth. Her perfectly “from the back” executed lead changes, her “airs above the ground” executed without restriction of pain, its like she was twisting and shouting for “joy in a freedom of movement body dance”.

Movement most horse folk have no reference point for – the freedom of an unburdened spine. For the awe equestrians have for the movement of the horse and all it embodies, most fear such exquisite body joy, and from there most start the killing and crippling with props of  training, bits, bridles, saddles and more. It is only our own fear we are choking down, the horse paying the price in her body. This is the one thing I have learned for sure, and why I am selective of cases I take on. Too many times I have seen well meaning folks put on a wonderful show of caring, with enlightened words and quotes, throwing a whole lot of money to ease guilt and still the horse pays the ultimate price. I have no need for such games anymore. I cannot in good conscious do that to myself, much less the horse.

Most folks have no reference point to what really unburdened/unbridled movement in a horse is, most started so young in show and race circuits – the human eye has been trained to accept crippled movement as normal, of this I am sure. Many want to recycle such creatures to new careers, but the horse remains the slave to human ego and expression equating to stifled motion. How glorious that expression, when it comes from the horses’ own volition, free of human contriving.

In the previous blog I mentioned the war on terrorism has pushed explosive expressions deeper to scattered fragments, much like vaccines do in the case of disease. This case, as every case, brought vaccinosis to clearer understanding. When the immune system is repeatedly told to “shut up” the malaise pushes deeper, to cancer (that which can no longer be expressed – just “lumped”), auto-immune disorders and more. We push the immune system to attack itself – a very condensed version to an extremely complex web of created disease. In the future this will be discussed to greater detail. In our fears we scream for answers, in haste someone answers with a bandaid on a gunshot wound, and for a while, humanity is quelled, but not weaned. Later when consequence calls, the unweaned scream again and so the slow slaughter goes till death, one part at a time, it seems all they know and want. Yet, something much older, wiser and healing has always been waiting.

When cognition of this amalgamates to soul knowing, it makes one’s life work so much harder. It is one thing to heal, as “dis-ease” presents itself. It is another thing altogether to unwind such pre-meditated induction of illness. It makes me long for another life. So many bite the bitter pill of false cure, lecturing on and on of all they learn about their “dis-ease”. Humans have so many games and drama playing into disease, until one owns their part, cure will be elusive. That is the price of consequence and fooling ones self. In the end all life transitions back to Spirit, peace must be made with whatever comes at the appointed time to release the soul home. In between, all life deserves to life fully and vibrantly; with deeply nourishing and lovingly prepared meals; with room to roam, wide spaces to expand the energy field and fuel unbridled thoughts, heart and passion. Anything less is a crippling cage path that leads to the killed creativity the cancer miasm encompasses. This beast I have no need or reason to feed anymore.

That moment with Belle brought forth a whole new cognition. I now have the smell of cancer seared to my knowing as is its multi-layered, created path that most have not the fortitude to own our part in. Just as most animals know. Many humans that went the route of cutting, chemo are stunned at the ease the body can heal with homeopathy and original healing means, (provided the vital force has not been to degraded by these means). Wildness completed, the cage no longer exists.

I found something very complete and conscious I will need to sink deeper into that day when Belle played with such wild abandon in the ring. I was in the middle, she did her dance. When she was done, she stopped. Shoulders squared to me, her gaze buzzed electric with a look that refried my system. It was a look Penny had – times 100. I knew we would be going to a whole new level. I have no choice, I have only unbridled joy to look forward what these graceful beings, Belle and Pinky will have to show me this year. A few other folks were witness to her dance that day, I know they were changed too; they witnessed her journey with a knack to hold the space that I generally only see in creatures, we are so blessed!


Further resources:

Truth about Cancer

Dr. Tenpenny

The movie “Bought”

Many use homeopathic nosodes prophylactically  – it is important to never dose out of fear. Many folks will do so with many diseases they read about and over use substances, this is a recipe for consequence. Less is best, know why you are using what your using – anything less brings unintended learning curves to quell our born into addiction excess.







A “Show” of “Caring”

I remember my 8th grade history teacher impressing upon us the need to know our history, so as the future generation, we would learn and not repeat human misgivings of the past. Having seen the scarring of war on my own parents, the yearning in her heart resonated with mine deeply.

I think of her often these days and feel we let her, and many like her, down. Not though any fault, but rather born into a system that surely seems rigged – a society imbedded with folly and an unwillingness to release patterns of painful repetition.

Education is skewed, infused with propaganda. A talented Art History teacher of mine told us that all governments control their populace via oppression, poverty, ignorance and drugs. I doubt teachers can utter such truths these days. Having known the duping my parents endured when WWII ended, I appreciated this mans’ candor and reflect on this often.

My issue with most educational systems is that they seem wrought with limits and fear. The education wild beings offer their offspring often can exceed that of the parent, leading to loss of life, territory – never the less; timely wisdom is handed to future generations with a trust, a knowing strength that “good of the whole” prevails. It is an unbound tutelage that causes a being to respect and own its power well; something humans have been too far removed from in our caged and civilized existence. We often fear this “fully owning of self”.

Nature knows what is needed, lives in service to itself and does not squander energy. This can be seen in large predators especially, much bluffing and display will precede the drawing of blood. Blood spilled is precious and the cost is always very high. All this and more, prudently taken into consideration of the whole. Human teachings disrespect this basic knowing, it indoctrinates, bores and dulls aptitudes with repetition, incomplete and non-experiential information preached as gospel. A clipped and infantile populace accepts dumb downed conditioning as truth. Mass shootings in schools and public places speak volumes that chemically castrated volition cannot.

In high school, I witnessed a boy getting stabbed. Two rival gangs were going at it; a friendly and good natured student tried to break up the fight and got stabbed in the leg for it. School always had a prison-like feel to it for me. Thirty years later I returned when the agricultural area was being revamped, to find more security, more rules – generally a feeling of “lock down” to keep kids safe, a show of caring. Fear still ruled the campus, more so than 30 years before – de-evolution.

Gang shootings were becoming the new norm. No one seemed too concerned, a show of caring of outraged parents made a bit of news then nothing more. So society treats those deemed “less than”. This was the environment that taught to own both ends of the spectrum and find some sort of balance in the middle.

Whether serving areas deemed “dangerous” or “entitled”, those ailing need relief, a gun  never keeps me safe either place, something deeper and stronger does. Something not voiced, not hubris, just lived, it shows in the walk and beings know it, when it is owned in balance. Something the wild beings taught me, predators/raptors in particular. A hero needs a villain for justification, just as life needs death – there is a reflected need for each other. When this is owned and understood, something much more prudent and efficient gives a being volition with a bit more integrity. There is nothing to prove.

Thirty plus years after high school, one sees violence escalating. Two shootings happened on our street alone. One summer the bodies of 4 young people could be seen, on different occasions, as one traveled for daily routines. The police put up tape, put on their show of caring yet the killings continue, the media never mentions these souls lost. Locals put up candle vigils, a plea to the Holy Mother that humans awake and value life as something precious/sacred; still waiting for that.

Perhaps this is the best humans can do, perhaps it is the only level the masses know to function on, but the killing escalates. Shootings now seem a new norm in schools, theaters, pubic buildings and the media manipulates the masses plucking the strings of primal fear and hate. Sounds quite familiar to what my dad ranted about in the final stages of his life, the duping the masses fall for.

While people scream for gun control, better mental health and other band aids on a gunshot wound means of dominion, no one seems to really remember history, let alone the repetitious patterns that brought us here.

At the turn of the century the AMA closed homeopathic hospitals and declared themselves the standard for health care. I cannot help but wonder what the good ole USA would be like if these hospitals and the old docs that knew how to heal without the cutting that pushes the “disease” deeper to the core of the body (suppression), had been allowed to sculpture their art releasing humanity from its most destructive miasm, known for its homicidal and suicidal tendencies…what would this world be like? Would the bloodlust slaughter still rein supreme as an answer to our fears and anger? So many wars, so much propaganda, so much manipulating of the masses and still more killing is the solution the self proclaimed deity that claims likeness to the image of God can do?

Since 9/11 a great dissolution of civil rights has occurred. Just last week the whole Los Angeles Unified School District was shut down because of a hoax. Given the mass killings that are happening on our soil, I am sure any parent would rather err on the side of caution and keep their child home. None the less, Los Angeles County extends some 4,752 miles, employs over 31,000 teachers and over 655,000 students. That is a huge disruption, not to mention extra law enforcement to search the schools, employers were told to be patient with parents scrambling to care for their children. A perfect vehicle has been created to fracture and control any establishment that is put in the cross hairs, be it labeled “terrorist” or any despondent soul that wantonly kills. This is much more dynamic than media hype incites.

Prudence will aid to look at such events in ways not intended; instead of needing such life circumstance to cause pause and reflection – how ‘bout taking an unscheduled day off – to spend with your child/children? A parent? Another loved one? Busy is a new addiction that robs modern humans of deep connection, the day the schools closed was a very quite day in LA. Kids played, parents forced to take time with their wee ones – can anything be more important than that?

The average person can send many incongruent messages to young ones. On one hand speaking of faith and in action running madly to accomplish a never ending list of things, often leaving the child feeling as an after thought. Compensating measures only help so much, children know more than given credit for; they are a very clean slate. Slow down, take some inventory in your life and connect with those things that will follow you to the afterlife. The rest is just a show of caring, an imitation children and animals will always see through.

Since 9/11/01 the war on terrorism has done for this wound, what vaccines have done to “disease” – pushed the malaise deeper, underground, spreading into something not yet recognized, except for those that have been taught to see though show of caring modern man and ego are so easily duped by.

So many years of war and killing, stock piles of weaponry left behind to arm yet another “threat” and like Fukushima – this is the epitome our best and most brilliantly educated minds can do?

A recent commercial asked for funds to feed hungry citizens in a certain country, because so many funds had to be redirected to the war on terrorism. Why is it so much money is available for killing and not for life? Why is it most cannot see through this farce?

I can only hope humanity grows into a spiritual maturity to see past this “show of caring” one sees in wars, non-profit help groups perpetuating their existence preying on depleted folks desperate to do something to help, but knowing no better. In the horse world a great deal of money and research is spent, keeping strained and enslaved tissue going for the sake of our ego, while ignoring the prayer/needs in the horses heart/body. Why does it almost seem necessary for most humans to lie to themselves? Why allow money to rule bloodlust? There is a lush life beyond this mindset.

In this season of praying for peace, do something extra-ordinary out of your normal pre-programmed patterns of function to quell hypocrisy.  Pray for peace by all means, but with that cut the “puppet on a string manipulation” the masses have been so preyed on and act with some integrity and maturity of spirit. Refuse to bite the bitter fruit of division. Remember we have all been born to experience LIFE, full spectrum, embracing and making peace with all that makes us human. This will go further than the scared noise an infantile race is so good at making, exchange those old clothes for honed, sacred action instead. The beings I serve want nothing more to than to live unencumbered by this spiteful trash. The liberation of sanity lies just beyond and we all deserve it.


This is my wish this Christmas.


With dark and hollow eyes they seek recall, but answers won’t come.

The seeds of delusion planted long ago, not as modern medicine knows delusion, but as homeopathy knows delusion, the fracture, the strain, that caused lifes’ perception to fragment through circumstance. The crisis gone, but the inappropriate reaction remains, it can even be passed to future generations. An example would be children born to parents whose minds have been rend by war, the threat is gone, but the hurried, clandestine, guilt and fear ridden patterns become a new norm for the family, generations far removed from the initial wounding. Cloaking with alcohol and drugs does not help.

While modern health experts quibble over various degrees of forgetfulness – what is simple mind fog, senility, dementia? It seems to have become a variation/barometer to yet add another layer of medication, more chemical restraints to a mind/soul disappearing into its own complexity.

Behind the fractured delusion, ego vies for reconciliation via toxins, medications, addictions and more, adding another slathered layer for self to hide behind. Dead food void of the dense nutrition needed by the brain and nervous system, do nothing to aid those falling into the depths of dementia.

The seeds of delusion planted so long ago, most know not who they are, losing oneself even further is an easy stumble, and no one is above its grasp. Loss of position, health, or such, the fall begins. The more chemically burdened the being, the deader the food supply, the quicker the landslide.

Some suffer through unimaginable confusion, in our tech immersed world; some can no longer differentiate tv from reality, forgetting familiar streets, names, all rubrics to some of our beloved homeopathic remedies. The sooner these signs are nipped in the bud, the better. Diet changes to nutrient dense foods that feed an exhausted brain/nervous system will help greatly. A life long hobby/art will also keep the soul from slipping into the abyss.

The cleaner/organic and more plant based the food source is from conventional agriculture chemicals, the better. Re-establish health gut flora with pre and pro biotic rich foods, mineral and essential fatty acids foods as well. Herbs like Ginko, Avena Sativa, Huperzia Serata have affinity for brain function, Skullcap soothes the fried nervous system that resorts to surliness as faculties fade, easing the job of those caretaking. What gifts Nature still gives.

For some, help comes too late, or staves off the inevitable at best, for a little while. It is a very strange web humans have weaved…sulfuric ego driven dreams become a nightmare when the whole is left unconsidered. Human denial seems our race favorite bed to hide under as the weight of consequence squeezes our delusion along with life circumstance that seek reconciliation.

Awareness, always the start of healing; acting on awareness the second key step, many no longer have the fire for follow through, and the addictive chemicals allure will bring about the fall.

This landslide has been in the making for generations, hardly anyone noticed…